One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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