He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
its liver damage thursday
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
