when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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