What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
