apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize