even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
