im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it's like iHOP with fire
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Maybe he injected his testicle?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
