I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Im part way to drunk.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
