I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
