Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
