okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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