if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
