if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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