No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize