Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
