i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need to sanitize my soul.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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