Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize