My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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