I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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