I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
