I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
