I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize