I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
