I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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