my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
