just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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