You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
