If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i think my cat just said my name.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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