shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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