he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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