What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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