Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
