that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
