the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
