ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
