Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
