Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
