On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
