Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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