I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
