If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize