i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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