It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize