She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
