why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
