what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
