You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
