I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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