the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
pray to the hookup gods
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
