No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
