i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Shame - the story of my life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
