I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize