I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
