i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You took a bar mat shot.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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