Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sorry my hands just texted you
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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