I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
