Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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