oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize