I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
